Muscle Roast


calum von moger

Calum von Moger has a deep dark obsession with Arnold!

Calum von Moger is a new up and coming fitness star, that has been time after time compared to Arnold Schwarzenegger.

  • What the world doesn’t know, is that Calum von Moger has a deep dark obsession with Arnold. That goes a lot further than just being a fan.

Calum von Moger has been whacking off, and beating the meat! Also, choking the chicken, wrestling the lizard, to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s posters for as long as he could remember.

Calum von Moger

Calum von Moger and his Pumping Iron fetish…

Calum likes to get the party started by looking at really old Arnold posters, where Arnold looks really young.

  • This gets him a chubby, but when he puts on Pumping Iron, that’s when the real party starts for Calum.

It only takes him a few minutes spanking the monkey to finish while watching Pumping Iron. 

  • This is only if he has surround sound hooked up and is really in the moment.

“Once Calum finishes his Pumping Iron whack off sessions, he puts on his Arnold underwear and gets ready for a nap!”

He always dreams about Arnold spotting him in the gym and calling him a “girly man!”

Calum von moger

Calum von Moger and drugs don’t mix…

“When Calum goes out, he either he pops his favorite color ecstasy pill or just chows down on a handful of Grade A mushrooms! Everyone starts to look like Arnold to Calum when he goes out on party drugs.”

He has been spotted running around with no shirt on at clubs! Of course wigging out and tweaking like a crack hoe who just dropped acid after ripping a 3 ft bong full of crystal meth.

Calum von moger

Calum said that he truly hopes that him and Arnold can smoke crystal meth together one day, and then quickly correct himself and said “weed.”

It’s easy to see that he mirrors every aspect of Arnold’s life, and try to copy his every move.

Arnold shoots a needle in his ass, Calum von Moger shoots a needle in his ass.

  • Arnold leaves his country to come do roids and compete in the states, Calum von Moger does the same.

And of course, Arnold does a little weed, Calum decides to do the same, with a acid sprinkled on top.


Calum Von Moger Arnold Classic 2018…

Calum is planning to go to the Arnold Classic next year.

  • He wants to walk around the show following Arnold around and smelling his protein farts that he will be crop dusting at the expo.

Calum von moger

We wish Calum the best of luck, but we did have to roast him because he is obviously obsessed with Arnold, and it’s kind of creepy.

“He is a good looking younger dude, but the fact still stands, that Calum is just another roid head.”

There is zero chance that anyone will ever get close to what Arnold has done.

Do you want to know why?

This is because now everyone can get as big as Arnold and even bigger, but back then, Arnold was the first.

What that really means is that Arnold got his hands on the juice first. Back then you stand out when you are that size, but today, those kind of bodies are a dime a dozen.

  • You have to look like Rich Piana to actually get some attention, it’s that crazy.

So while Calum resembles Arnold, they couldn’t be further apart from what Arnold was doing at his age.


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